Have you seen the disaster movie trailer? I saw it. Oh boy, this shit again. I guess these stupid movies keep making money. That has got to be the only reason they keep getting greenlit. It’s certainly not because they elevate the craft or anything like that. Who am I kidding, no movie would ever be greenlit because it elevated the craft. Even the artsiest, fartsiest movie these days would only be greenlit if it was expected to make a lot of money.
Disaster Movie is goinng to suck. Just like meet the spartans before it, just like date movie, and whatever the hell else movie that has been put out by the disaster Movie crew. I don’t object to the movie per se though. Mostly what I object to is that people keep going to see these shitty movies, they keep making money, and they keep making more. Why, why, why do they do that?
Disaster movie could not possibly inspire the kind of hate that its audence could inspire. I hate with every fiber of my being the teenage, mouth breathers who go to see these movies. And then I hate the producers for making me seem like a cranky old man. I’m not old enough to be yelling at kids to get off my lawn but maybe I would be doing the world a favor if I told them to get away from the stupid movie.
Disaster Movie, why not just cut to the chase and call it Stupid Movie. Stupid Movie, its sequel Stupid Movie 2: Electric Boogaloo, Stupid Movie 3: The Return of Stupid Movie, the possiblities are endless. People would still go to see it. People still was Saturday Night Live and that hasn’t been funny since about 1979 or so.
There is nothing I can do about Disaster Movie other than give it a little bit of a boost in Google Trends in order to trick people into reading about how much I hate it. Or, I can brring in fellow travelers who wish for the madness to end. I’m not a film snob but surely we can do better than this.
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